Rediscovering gentleness and reconstruction

An intense and fragile moment

This photo, takenin November 2024, captures a moment of such intensity that it isdifficult to describe in simple words, for it freezes a turningpoint, one of those moments when you feel that something within youis slowly healing after having been broken. At that time, I was stillvery fragile: I had only just emerged from a burnout of rareseverity, an inner collapse that had destroyed almost every point ofreference in my former life. I was moving forward as if walking atightrope, still wavering, still hesitant, seeking to rebuild whathad been reduced to dust.

Meeting Gourmand

And it was duringthis period of immense vulnerability that I met Gourmand again, thatvery special donkey who, without knowing it, would play a decisiverole in my recovery and in the redefinition of my identity. It wasn’tthe first time I’d met him. But I decided to settle into his home,and we shared eight months of long days together, whole weeks duringwhich I got to know his silences, the way he looked at things, theway he moved, doubted, understood and opened up.

Learning patience and listening

Little by little,through these encounters, it was he who taught me, he who taught meto read the subtle cues, to understand patience, to listen to whatcannot be expressed in words. Gourmand is no ordinary donkey: he isone of those who teach without ever imposing, who simply demonstratethrough their presence what gentleness, steadfastness and the depthof a bond built step by step are all about. Through him, I discovereda different rhythm, far removed from the brutality of the humanworld, a rhythm that heals, a rhythm that leaves room for life.

An enlightening diagnosis

When I saw himagain in November 2024, I realised that something was gently closingwithin me, that the fractures caused by my burnout were beginning toheal, not because everything was getting better, but because I was nolonger alone in navigating the process of rebuilding. A few weekslater, in January 2025, I received a diagnosis that would give newmeaning to my journey: that of a High Emotional Potential Autisticperson. This diagnosis came as a revelation, not to label, but toexplain, to offer coherence to decades of misalignment, invisiblestruggles and accumulated fatigue.

Seeing and accepting myself differently

Realising that myway of being in the world was new, unique, yet perfectly legitimate,transformed the way I see myself, understand myself and acceptmyself. And this diagnosis also shed light on the severity of myburnout: so many years spent trying to adapt, to hide, to function ina world that was too noisy, too fast-paced, too demanding hadeventually caused my foundations to crumble. But, paradoxically, thiscollapse opened up a new space, a space where I could finally beginto live differently, more in tune with myself.

Gourmand, a guiding presence

And in this space,Gourmand played an essential role. With him, I didn’t need to playa part or hide who I was: he accepted me exactly as I was, with myvulnerabilities, my need for calm, my unconventional way ofperceiving things. He responded to me in a language I understoodinstinctively, a language made up of micro-gestures, breathing, andpresence. This bond was fundamental, to the point of helping merealise one of my greatest dreams: to become a donkey driver‍

Supporting and sharing

Every moment spentwith Gourmand confirmed that I had found my calling: being withdonkeys, understanding them, supporting them, but also supporting thepeople who seek to connect with them. Today, drawing on this intenseexperience — the breakdown, the slow recovery, the rediscovery ofmyself, the healing encounter with Gourmand and the belated butprecious understanding of my autism — I wish to offer others what Iwould have liked to receive in my darkest moments. I would like tosupport those going through severe burnout, profound self-doubt, andmoments of inner turmoil, as well as those who discover theirneuroatypicality later in life and are seeking a space to rebuildthemselves without judgement.

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